But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
