From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
