I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
