Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
