She said her name was "party"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
