his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
