so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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