It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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