i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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