Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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