I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
