Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
