this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
