With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
