my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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