worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
