this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just want to make out with him forever
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize