I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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