I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
As shirtless as possible
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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