I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
