So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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