she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
