How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
