I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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