Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
