I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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