No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
