Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
