I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
