i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
