I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
