i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize