Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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