we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
