On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize