he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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