who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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