so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
