Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize