The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Randomize
