My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
