Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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