Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
