i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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