I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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