That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
