Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
