I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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