If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
