what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
