So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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