she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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