Got a toothbrush?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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