Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
