bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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