I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
