Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
