put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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