better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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