I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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