god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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