You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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