i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
