I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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