I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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