Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
