your room smells of hookers.
And success
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
