And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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