Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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