ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
