i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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