so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
