I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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