We're like a lot better than the average bears
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
