Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's shark week go big or go home
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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