is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
