I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
