Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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