I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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