that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
